Top 40 Reasons I Can't Go To The 40th High School Reunion

We've had really great feedback from our classmates and friends as we've attempted to reconnect with everyone and get addresses for invitations. Sometimes though, we've just had to laugh at the things some people say in response to our calls and emails. Some can't be printed here -- or anywhere! -- but here are a few of our favorites.

1. Shh, my spouse doesn’t know I’m that old.
2. I still have a 10:00 pm curfew issued by my parents.
3. I would have to get my tooth cleaned.
4. I don't have a stamp to mail my reservation.
5. Cellulite. freaks. me. OUT!
6. Wal-Mart is having a sale that weekend.
7. I don't see an early-bird special on the menu.
8. I’m afraid my science teacher may be there.
9. Terriers give me hives.
10. Old people make me nervous.
11. I can’t read the invitation. Use LARGE PRINT. 
12. I'm too old for that.
13. I don’t attend any functions not sanctioned by AARP.
14. I was too fat, so I went on a diet, and now I have too many wrinkles!
15. That's my regular bingo night. 
16. The only hair I have left is growing out of my ears, nose and chin. 
17. I'm afraid I might get grabaged.
18. I won't know anyone there. 
19. I haven't even finished my term paper for Government yet. 
20. I won't recognize anyone. 
21. I've changed too much. 
22. Uh ... I'm in witness protection.
23. It's duck hunting season in Alaska.
24. No one will recognize me. 
25. My face lift hasn't healed yet. 
26. I still owe a library fine for Tale of Two Cities. 
27. My trophy wife is at the gym.
28. I can't get a babysitter.
29. No one will sit with me.
30. I can't get a flight from Makanda.
31. I hated high school. 
32. My mom says I'm STILL grounded.
33. I was not popular in high school. 
34. Steve Jobs invited me to dinner that night. 
35. I live too far away.
36. My dog ate my registration form. 
37. Reunions are just for cheerleaders and jocks. 
38. I'm pregnant. 
39. I'll just sit back and wait for the 50th reunion.
40. Now what was your reason again?

OK, we may have embellished the list just a little, but we wanted you to know there is still time to get your reservations in by the September 3, 2010 deadline!